New Phone

I need a new cell phone. My current phone is almost four years old now and like all of its predecessors it has been dropped, smashed, soaked and abused beyond reason. Its once shiny features are pitted and scratched, but against all expectation, it still works.

Well, sort of. It doesn't like to charge any more. I've found a solution of sorts: plug it in and then give it several hard smacks on its battery with the back of my hand. After two or three enthusiastic whacks, the charging indicator will light up and I know that, yes, I can use this yet another day at least. So far I have only had to do this in the privacy of my own home so it hasn't embarrassed me.. though my wife has given me some odd looks.

OK, I know I need a new phone. However, there are factors working against me. The first is cost. I have had this one long enough that I am eligible for free or reduced cost "upgrades", but chances are I'm not going to like the "free" units, so I know I'm going to shell out a few bucks at least.

Second is features. I'm not sure what the heck I want. I don't think I need an iPhone or an Android.. though I absolutely agree with Google that these ARE our future. But as I've said before, the current state of technology for phones is still far enough away from the do-it-all computer that I'd really like. Given that even the best is a weak imitation of my ideal, I revert back to basics: I need a cell phone, period. Don't need a camera, don't need the Internet.. well, that's not true, it is nice to be able to check my email when I'm out for long periods..

I did get as far as visiting a store. Unfortunately I ran into a young, gum snapping sales clerk.. no, she really wasn't snapping gum or even chewing it, and she wasn't unprofessional, but she was somewhat uninterested in helping an old geezer who didn't care about texting and mp3's. Maybe uninterested isn't quite the word I want: baffled is more like it. She had no idea what to suggest for me. I left unhappy.

I'm a bit frustrated, so I'll probably go on slapping this phone until it no longer responds. Then I'll have to do something, but I have no idea what.